Recent traumatic events in my private life have been taking their toll on me. Today whilst out shopping I had a vivid flashback. I controlled its immediate effects and carried on with my day.
During a heated discussion this evening it happened again. This time I was able to tie it in to other memories and was able to recall the name of the man involved.
At the age of six I recall looking at my reflection in a bedroom mirror at the grandparents house. I was naked from the waist down and was trying to see over my shoulder.
My anus was bright red and there were black and blue marks on my buttocks as well as scratches.
I looked up and out of the window and saw my grandmother walking down the hill with a neighbour. I panicked, pulled my trousers up and ran to wash myself. When she came in the house she asked me what I’d been doing. I said I’d fallen and scratched my bum and was looking to see how bad it was.
Earlier I had been taken by grandfather to his friends house. The house was on the way to the pub. I was dropped off there whilst grandfather went for his whisky fix.
I was undressed and makeup was applied to my face and a face drawn on my buttocks and red lipstick applied to my anus. I was then raped anally and orally.
My face was cleaned up and I was sent off with an envelope for grandfather who was still in the pub. I was given a glass of lemonade and then sent home. It when I was examining myself that I was seen by my grandmother and her friend.